How to become a better negotiator

Negotiating is not only part of everyone’s job but also part of our lives. It is not always enjoyable but it is unavoidable.
I strongly believe that “Negotiation” is a skill that you improve on by working on it; that is the reason why I would like to give you some tips on it.

1. Win-Win or Win-Lose relationship? 

You will need to determine first which relationship you choose because it will affect which tactic and attitude you adopt.

With the Win-Lose option, some relationship don’t matter, anything gained by one party is achieved at the expense of the other. If it is a Win-Win relationship, relationships often matter; each party is motivated to reach an agreement that will satisfy the interest of both parties.

2. Indispensable negotiating concepts in successful negotiation

• Alternative 

An alternative makes it possible for a negotiator to say “If this negotiation fails to produce what I need, I can always do…”. Roger Fisher and William Ury called that “BATNA”, Best alternative to a negotiated agreement. By doing this, it will give you a position of strength and confidence because you have an alternative and know when to walk away from an offer.

• Reserve price

This is the lowest price the seller will accept for an item. Every negotiator should determine their reserve price in advance for any negations. If you can learn the other sides reserve price without revealing yours, you will know how hard to push without forcing the others to walk away.

3. Communication Style

A good communicator communicates in a way that is appropriate for the situation and for the people with whom they are dealing with. Not communicating the appropriate way and using the wrong style can definitely sabotage the negotiation.

People behave, communicate and learn according to 4 different styles:

• Listeners: they are people oriented and want to build a relationship but they can’t say ‘no’. In negotiation, listeners always seeks to make all sides happier.
• Creators: they are enthusiastic and excitement driven people. They can be impulsive and make a decision on the spot.
• Doers: they are pragmatic, assertive, result oriented, competitive and competent, they want to win.
• Thinkers: They are detailed oriented people. Always looking for the perfect solution. They need rules, regulations and predictability

4. Listening skills

A good listener hears, interprets, evaluates and reacts.

Studies shows that we spend up to 80 percent of our waking hours communicating and at least 45 percent of that time is spent listening. Also, one reason why so many people are bad listeners is because they lack training.

Why should we want to become better listeners? A failure to listen can cost lives. Listening mistakes can also cost money.

5. Managing conflict

You need to know how to handle conflict, otherwise it can be very costly in time and energy. It can motivate sabotage by disaffected parties.
To learn how to manage conflict effectively, it is a good idea to understand how you personally handle conflict. Are you avoiding conflict? Are you uncompromising in dealing with conflict?

6. The importance of assertiveness

One test of assertiveness is the ability to say no. Do you often find yourself saying yes to requests when you really want to say no. Offering an alternative might help to say no.

7. Prepare to negotiate

Like every other important task, preparation provides a foundation for success

To be prepared you must:

• Identify issues and interests
• Develop a mental picture of an ideal agreement
• Determine your alternatives to a deal and reserve price and try to do the same for the other side
• Improve your negotiating position

To conclude there are 5 steps that you want to follow when negotiating:

• Getting to know each other
• Getting the negotiations started even though some of them can be difficult
• Expressing disagreement and conflicts – Don’t view the conflict as a test of power but as a chance to find out what people need
• Reassessing and compromising
• Reaching agreement – ideally in writing

Source: “How to become a better negotiator” from Richard A. Luecke and James G. Patterson.

Leila Boubahlouli